Meaning of parenting:
At first you must understand what the word “Parenting” itself stands for. The foundation or beginning is very important. So, let’s be very specific before we explore! One must know what the purpose is. If we don’t know where the destination is, we might always take the wrong way.
What comes to your mind when you hear the word “Parent”? How you feel about your father and Mother or someone who raised you. Not to follow but to understand what they did and why they did. Honestly, it depends on your age.
If we break down Human life by its age or lifetime, we can recognize twelve stages depending on the realization and contribution. Nine stages, if we strictly consider the age only. Obviously it’s not something like unbreakable law and we are not the creator of the human race. Not every human has the same realization at a particular point of life. We are the different and evolve differently throughout our whole life. That is the most beautiful thing about humans and that is what makes us unique. We will explain in depth Some day.
During your early childhood from 3-6 years duration you see someone who will answer all of your questions. Someone, who will company you, participate and tell you “how” & “why” not “what”. Just like a very dear friend.
Now, this relation can stay the same always through lifetime. But, we are humans and we are misguided by our emotions. Due to our actions and behavior, this relation changes dramatically.
If the wrong direction is taken, the realization will be change. This is nature of life. So, it was about how it should be. Now lot ’stalk about what generously happen. This is the harsh reality coming. Rude but true.
During ages (6-11) parents experience the most challenging time of parenthood. In most scenarios we see that during middle and late childhood, children’s consider their parents like some kind of restraint or boundary. Which is keeping them away from something exciting, something very compelling but, unknown. This is the basic nature of human mind which comes from natural courtesy. The more you restrict the more it will try to break free.
Bring the change that you want to see
It’s the time to reborn. During 12-20 years we go through the biggest changes of our life both mentally and physically. During this time nothing actually exists. Neither the parents nor the whole world. We react and take purely based on our realization and raw feeling. This is the time when parents should make their child’s that “I’m here for you”. If they fail to establish their presence now. There will be no room for correction. Not anymore!
If positive expression is made, we seek for advice and guideline to our parents during early adulthood. Otherwise it’s just a regular human ton human relation on guardian who abandoned their responsibilities.
Later during middle and mature adulthood, it’s about the parents that make the impressions anymore. We grow wiser and realize many things. We know what matters and what doesn’t. In this point it’s about the judgment. We understand and become grateful for what we have got and learn to appreciate that they have done whatever they could.
We always hope for the ending to be well and it does eventually. But, it should be always like how it started. It’s just because sometimes we don’t have the proper understanding of our role. Parenting is the greatest responsibility with pride and self-satisfaction. This is the point where we start to get lost. It’s not about teaching, it’s about guiding. There is a very little differences. It’s about supporting and making recommendation, not enforcing the actions. We have to be selfless not selfish. When you produce something it should be one step better than you. It’s a very rude or cruel thing to say to any parent but, it’s close to crime to parent a human mind.
You shouldn’t make any decision for your child. You should just provide the insight and the results of the actions. They should be free to choose and able to make the decisions judging the outcome.
We have to be very honest and straight. It’s not about being correct. It’s about being right. If you know something, answer it. If you don’t know, admit and show the right direction. You shouldn’t influence their decision. Also you need to protect them from the external influences as well. The society will try to slope them with a format but life should be free. What they need is a friend not a ruler. Your child is not your property. It just came through you but, not yours only.
If you make a decision for them and try to enforce they will act against you when they got the taste of a more pleasant alternative. Which might right not be good for them. It’s the nature of human mind. That’s why they should make their own decision. Whatever you say you have to mean it. Otherwise4 they will not trust. There is no guaranty that you are more intelligent than your child.
Parenting is like gardening. You have got a life in the term of your child. You should only protect it from bad influences and let it grow by itself. If you try to press a format it will go reverse just to feel independent because it never had the taste of freedom. We are just little older than our children’s but, that doesn’t make us superior from them.
Just consider your child as one more person who has the right to be independent.
We try to make our children’s attached to us when we actually should prepare them to survive alone when we are not around. Otherwise we are failed as parents.