Trying to separate and getting divorced is one of the worst periods in life. It’s another difficult task to partner with your co-parent to raise safe, caring and happy children despite your separation. But it’s doable, as can be attested by many happy adult divorced parents children.
There are four good and positive tips for co-parenting to get you started. These will help you learn how to co-parent to provide a healthy and successful childhood for your children. Even though you’re not both living under the same roof anymore, you can keep us working as a team by using these positive co-parenting techniques.
- Watch What You Say. You can chat about your new wife and your ex. But this is the DAD and stepmom of your son. So, be pretty. Keep the tongue. It doesn’t matter how difficult it is. Regardless of how much you think he’s a dick and pressing your buttons. Tap your intuition to think about how you’d react if one of your loved family members acted harshly, or even refused to talk to another one of your loved family members. If nothing else, be thankful to your ex for not having the most precious gift of your child without him.
- Don’t expect a change in your ex. Was he always late to drive your pinpoint nature batty? Okay, guess what, this doesn’t just mean that you’re divorced and that this will change. He will still behave the same way. Don’t personally take it. He’s not deliberately doing it. He’s like that. And these conducts, I suppose, are some of the reasons you are no longer married. Discover and let go of that inner peace. If you don’t, anger, hostility, and tension will continue to fill your co-parenting relationship.
- Please realize that your co-parent is a person and a parent. Not the only one. He isn’t the only one. He might let the kids stay up too late. He could allow them to eat cake for lunch. He may forget to tell you that the soccer game is canceled. Don’t try to judge you. You know how hard a mother can be. If the other parent has realistic expectations, you’ll feel much better.
- Understand children’s natural development. Separation is normally a concern of young children, middle-school children prefer to be with peers over the family, and sometimes young people want to stay with their parents as little time as possible. Do not fall into a trap in which you or your husband attribute these questions to anything that’s wrong. If your two-year-old throws a tantrum when it’s time to go to his dad, remember this’s not about father. Your child could react in the same way if you leave them with a sitter.
It’s not easy at all. Parenting is a tough job. Take the step for smalls to learn to be a co-parent more supportive and caring. Your kids are going to benefit. You’re going to feel better. And your ex might just respond by being more friendly as well as more understanding.