The truth is, we can make all choices better. But wasting the attention, what we might be wrongdoing, now let us spend more and more time reflecting on… that what we are doing well. Each time you must have a “win” parenting, it gives you a little reputation. So, Go ahead, have a good time in the awesomeness of your family!
Admit it: you’re also doing those kinds of stuff. And that’s perfect. But maybe — maybe — it’s time to think about improving things a_little bit, just for your sagacity, the relationship your’s and your children’s, because life is too short.
1. Judging other parents.
This one is tough for all of us. We all saw that dad, the one in the Target check-out shouting at their children. The mother who ushers her children for dinner through the McDonald’s drive-thru and the father who lets his children stay on a school night after 10 pm. The fact is, we could make better choices for everyone. But instead of wasting the attention on what we might be doing incorrectly, let’s spend more time reflecting on the right thing we’re doing. Give yourself a little credit every time you have a parental “win.” Go ahead, show the elegance of your mother!
2. Negative self-talk.
Ever suggest something isn’t that flattering for yourself? “Oh, I’m so stupid!” Of course, we all have our moments but think twice about such negative self-talk— particularly when the kids are in earshot. Our children are staring at us; we are presenting them with comfort and safety. So how does a child feel that knowing their own mother or father doesn’t think they’re particularly smart or awesome, even for a moment? It’s not perfect. So if your little one listens fairly often to these things, don’t be surprised if they end up saying the same thing about themselves. But we don’t need our own pawned vulnerability for our children, do we? Here’s the lesson: be kind to everyone.
3. Town of distraction: Population, you.
When was the last time you spent a weekend glued to your side without your cell phone or when you didn’t always tap your choice tablet away? Have you ever seen that family talking to each other in a hotel who are all on their mobiles and gadgets? For most of us, this one is hard these days. We’re all so stepped-in all the time, and it makes more sense— we’re more distracted than ever, and as parents, we’ve been incredible multitaskers. But all that tapping, clicking, and surfing. Those can do some amount of things about the relationship with you… with your kids, even your feeling… how you feel yourself. So, try to remove the devices for a while. Maybe it’s a routine after 7 pm that there’s no tech room. Create discussions. Play a game of the wall. Go for a stroll. You may be surprised by what you are learning — and how much your mood is improving — and you will feel much better connecting with those you love most.
4. Our children love badmouthing men.
Whether it’s your wife, your parent, the teacher of your kid or your in-laws, there’s a risk that somebody’s about to do something irritating and you’re going to wind up. Do a favor for yourself and do it without your nearby kids. No matter the extent of heinousness, we don’t need to hear negative things about people they love. Keep it among adults and give your kids the gift without guilt to enjoy their role models.
5. Trying to control everything.
We’re not going to want our kids to lose, get hurt or get upset. But what do you think? All these things are part of nature and an exercise in futility is trying to control every little thing they do, utter and feel. Getting excessively supervised also comes with the additional bonus of being a mother to a kid who will turn against you and potentially become a major opponent. Give a little room for your children to make mistakes. Let them benefit from the perspectives of their lives. In the long run, it will enrich them.
6. Photographing everything.
Okay, that’s going to get me a lot of negativity mail, but I’ll say: take fewer photos. Listen, I don’t suggest you leave the camera for your birthday party, third-grade music festival or family vacation at home. Of course, you really want special memories to be preserved! But sometimes, It’s better to remove the lens and just enjoy the moment right now. I took my son to an event recently and watched him experience the whole thing behind her giant iPad video camera in front of us. I couldn’t stop but think “She’s missing the entire show, maybe she’s just been sitting at home and watching it on YouTube.”We’ve all grown so used to photographing every single event and uploading our photos on social media that I’m sure we don’t ever experience the moment’s happiness. You (and your children) don’t deserve that?
7. The man (or woman) being the yes.
Buying your child that doll/app/any food/ games they covet is so easy to spend a few dollars. And YES! It’s all nice things to do for your children. But, be careful! Don’t make it a daily occurrence, or you’ll soon have your hands a small entitled one that can’t even say “no”. That means to set limits and seee the flourishing of your children.
8. Being too comfortable.
You will not suggest a trip to Six Flags because you hate roller coasters. If you’re not a sushi lover, you’re not going to be your children, either. As parents, getting comfortable and avoiding situations that force us to burst from our own comfort zones is really easy. But maybe that horrible amusement park would really love your kid. And maybe your little one feels like spicy tuna rolls. Spend some time trying something new and see what your kids are gravitating towards— let them explore the world a little bit and come up with their own conclusions, and you might even change your mind about one or two things as well.
9. Faking quality time.
You and your child are sitting down for the night of the game. On the sofa, you are all cuddled up. To check your email / send a text/post on Facebook, you start the opening credits and whip out your phone. Maybe you’re taking a quick photo of the cute little face of your little one and uploading it to Instagram with the #quality time hashtag. Family sound? Yep, all of us were there. But they feel it when you’re not fully involved in the activity you’ve agreed to do with your kids. When they say, “Mommy, you’re not WATCHING,” do you know? I know you’re not with them at the moment. For real quality time, let’s hear it and make real memories instead of just writing about them.
10. Not saying ‘I Love You’.
“I love you.” It’s three little words, they’re everything. And yet, if they’re something you’re not used to getting* heard* for most of your life, for some reason they’re not as easy to say. Knowing that they are loved is such a priceless gift to give for your kids, and yes, that means both words and actions. Note to them that you love them. Let them listen to it. This also extends to adult children— You don’t have time limitations to say. Go ahead; It’s going to return in your heart and smooch you.