Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I’ve discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through our behavior how to take personal responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves within and how to create a sense of safety in the world. In families where both a mother and father are present, both parents can participate in nurturing the child emotionally and taking care of the child in the world, and both parents can role-model what it looks like to do this for themselves.

Single parents have a far greater challenge – they have to be both mother and father to the child. Mothering energy is that energy that nurtures while fathering energy is that energy that protects in the world – that is, earning money, setting boundaries with others, speaking up for oneself. While our society often defines women as the nurturers and men as the protectors, both men and women are capable of both nurturing and protecting in the world.

In order for a single parent to successfully be both mother and father, he or she must have learned how to be both mother and father to the Child within. In other words, we have to have learned how to nurture our own Inner Child – how to take responsibility for our own fears, pain, anger, hurt, and disappointment, and how to take care of our Inner Child in the world – earn money, set boundaries, and so on. There is no way to successfully teach our children these skills until we are doing them ourselves, which means that each of us needs to be in a process of learning how to do this.

We have developed a process that teaches us how to care for and nurture ourselves, while also loving others. This process, called Inner Bonding, teaches us how to become a loving Adult to our own Inner Child and to our actual children. Inner Bonding is a six-step psychospiritual process that can be learned and practiced daily, and that leads to the development of a spiritually-connected loving inner Adult.

Inner Bonding defines the Inner Child as our core self, who we are when we are born – our natural creativity, intuition, playfulness, imagination, talents, feelings, and ability to love. Our Child is our inner experience. Our Adult is everything we learn after we are born. It is our thoughts, beliefs, and ability to take action. We start learning how to be an Adult from the moment we are born through watching our parents and other caregivers. The Adult we learn to be is a child-adult, the part of us that learned many fears and false beliefs and learned addictive ways, such as using substances, TV, spending, anger, or compliance to avoid pain. A true loving Adult is that part of us that is spiritually connected to a Higher Source of truth and love and is able to bring that truth and love down into the Child and share it with others. The adult many of us operate from most of the time is really a wounded child masquerading as an adult. It is our unhealed wounded self that causes us problems with ourselves and our children. Inner Bonding is a process for healing the wounded self and developing a spiritually-connected loving Adult.

In Inner Bonding, there are only two possible intents at any given moment: the intent to learn about love and the intent to protect against and avoid pain. The intent to learn says that we want to learn about our own pain in order to understand what we need to do to be loving to our Inner Child and others; The intent to protect says that we want to avoid experiencing our pain at all cost. The child-adult is always in the intent to protect and the loving Adult is always in the intent to learn.

The six-steps of Inner Bonding are:

1. The willingness to become aware of our pain rather than protect against it with our various addictions.

2. The conscious decision to move into the intent to learn.

3. Dialoguing with our wounded self to discover the false beliefs and resulting behavior behind the pain. Releasing anger and pain in appropriate ways.

4. Dialoguing with our Higher Power to learn about truth and loving behavior.

5. Taking loving action in behalf or our Inner Child.

6. Evaluating the action.

All parents needs to be in a process of healing themselves. It is particularly important for single parents to be in this process since they are the primary role-models for their children. The more you heal the fears and false beliefs of your wounded self, the more loving you will naturally be with yourself and your children. Learning to utilize these six step throughout the day, especially in times of anger, fear, anxiety and stress, will eventually heal the false beliefs leading to these difficult feelings.

About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D.

One of the leading problems effecting today’s youth is that of childhood obesity. One of the most important parenting tips that could ultimately save a child’s life is to deal with the problem early and yet with great sensitivity. The truth is that dealing with this delicate parenting issue early may help to save a child from dealing with obesity and other related illnesses in later life.

Over the years, the presence of obesity in children has dramatically increased. Many experts attribute the surge to over exposure to video games, television and computers. Others suspect that the increasing problem stems from poor eating habits and still others believe it may be a little bit of both.

Among other problems, obese children are at higher risk for developing diabetes and heart related illnesses. Health professionals are commonly worried that children who battle with weight early in life may face obesity later in adulthood, which could have a very negative impact on their health.

A child who is overweight or has recently been diagnosed with obesity, should not be singled out from the family as being the only one needing to make a change in their lifestyle. This is one of the most important parenting techniques to use when dealing with childhood obesity and is also one that will greatly impact a child’s self-esteem. If parenting isn’t done properly in this situation, the child may forever feel inferior or begin to identify themselves by how much they weigh, which is an unhealthy possibility. It is important that the entire family join together and participate in healthier meals, less television time and increased levels of activity, including walking.

Among the best parenting remedies used to combat obesity is preparing more fruits, vegetables and less foods that are high in fat. Positive parenting techniques will involve having healthy snacks available for your family and encouraging them over junk foods. Additionally, set a schedule for the family to take a brisk walk or spend some time doing some type of physical activity, including a game of basketball, softball, volleyball, etc. Anything that will get your child up and moving instead of spending all of his/her time in front of the television or video game will be to their benefit and will lend to the positive impact of good parenting. And finally, be vocal during your child’s medical visits. This includes asking the doctor questions about any concerns that you may have, as well as taking his/her advice when it comes to the health of your child.

Author: Crystal Pullen

Article Source: http://www.online-articles-directory.com/article57246.html

Raising children is a confusing business. There are times when any parent or caregiver can use additional parenting advice. There are many books available to parents to help get through the day-to-day issues.

Every child is different, and every parent is different, too. Because of this, there are no cookie-cutter solutions that will work for everyone. The best suggestion is for you to review all the solutions you discover and take a few quiet minutes to think about them. Modify the suggestions to best suit your family, and don’t be afraid to try out more than one until you discover the best answer.

Here are some tips:

1) Tell your children that you love them. Don’t just show it by buying them things. Verbalize it and show them by hugging them.

2) Be involved in your children’s lives – go to their concerts, games, and plays. This should be your highest priority.

3) Involve your children in family decisions.

4) Do not ever say “Because I said so” or “Because I am the parent”. Instead always rationally explain your reasons for making a decision. Not only will children then understand and comply easier, but it will help them to develop their own reasoning skills.

5) Actively participate with your children in activities outside of the home.

Do not hesitate to share the ups and downs of parenting with another parent. You may be surprised to find that they are experiencing some of the same joys and frustrations as you.

One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Take away all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary. When you want your child to do something or stop doing something, make a clear and specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.

Many parents start out on the right track, but are derailed by an incredibly persistent child. It seems that when children couple their youthful energy with an extraordinary ability to pinpoint their parent’s weak spots, the result is usually disaster.

If you are doing your job as a parent, there are many times when your decisions will not be popular with your kids. When your child is nagging, whining and pleading with you, it is a sure sign that you have made the right decision. It is also a sign that you need to disengage from your youngster and teach him you will not be easily swayed by his persistence.

Your most important goal as a parent is not to make your children happy on a short-term basis. It is to raise capable and responsible human beings. There are many times when your children will be unhappy with your decisions.

Today there are more parents than any other generation of parents in history. There is an incredible amount of information and knowledge about parenting advice you can get from friends, books, and the internet. Take advantage of this information. Read and take note. And be confident in your actions.

About The Author: Alison Palmer has an interest in topics relating to Family & Children. To find out how you can get more information about surviving the first year please visit this http://www.new-born-baby-guide.com site.

Article Source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/parenting/article_1016.shtml